He I’m sure is convinced that I think that life should mimic the above picture. And by He I don’t mean God, although I’m sure he thinks of himself as one, He is the boyfriend.

Being an intelligent being, he knows what romance looks like, he knows what it is…and like most women, I enjoy it. It enhances the enjoyment of being in a relationship … especially a LDR. I realize romance is a lot harder to pull off… the average guy may come off as a complete cheeseball if he mirrored movie like behavior. For instance, if my boyfriend and I were to take a cruise together, and he placed my body dangerously close to the edge of the deck Titanic style and screamed “I’m the king of the world!” I would probably puke a little in my mouth out of sheer fear of going overboard. That would not be my idea of a shared feel-good moment.

It sucks but there is a double standard… romance novels can get away with in your face romance, and so can movies, but the average guy has to find the comfortable medium. Somewhere between cheesy and a wretched wasteland of indifference lies the perfect amount of romanticism.

A man needs to remember women all over the world have these notions, its important to figure out her fantasies and make at least some of them come true from time to time. Abandoning the idea of romance all together comes off as plain lazy. So yes, life is not a novel … but to all the lovers out there, don’t underestimate what a little gesture can do for the spirit.

The lovely Boyfriend can easily be described as the ‘strong and silent type’ with emphasis on the silent part. Now I’m not saying I need daily confessions of his undying love for me… but a little can go a long way.

So we live in a practical world… does that mean we have to behave  in a practical manner all the time?

Consensus say no.

The Master Cleanse aka The Lemonade Diet or the Maple Syrup Diet is a 10-40 day fast that claims to remove toxins from the body. In other words it’s a detoxification program used to cleanse the body of any impurities and internal ailments and is also a popular way to lose weight.  The fast became wildly popular after Beyonce Knowles lost 20 pounds in 10 days for her role in Dreamgirls. The Master Cleanse was first developed by nutritional guru Stanley Burroughs, which he published in his book The Master Cleanser. The main purpose of the fast is to cleanse the system, the weight loss occurs naturally and normally you gain half the weight lost back once off the fast.

The detoxification program is NOT for everyone; it’s always smart to check with a physician before starting any kind of diet.  Keep in mind, the idea of the body needing a special detox is questioned by many doctors, as the body does detox itself without any special fast.

During the fast, your sole source of nutrients and energy will stem from the 6-8 glasses of “lemonade” intake per day. Your nutrients will be in the form of freshly squeezed lemons, Grade B maple syrup, and cayenne pepper.  You will also be flushing your system using salt water and drinking laxative tea each night.

The most difficult part of the fast is to overcome the psychological need to eat, particularly on the first three days. Once you get past the first three days you feel a sense of control that should motivate you to complete the cleanse. Before you begin your cleanse I suggest you prepare yourself by cutting out meat and processed foods from your diet. By doing this you are slowly prepping your body for the liquid fast making the transition much smoother.

Ingredients needed for daily 60oz serving:

12 Tbsp of Lemon Juice (do not used canned/bottled lemon juice)

12 Tbsp of Grade B Maple Syrup

1 Tsp (or as much as you can stand)

2 liters of water

Light grey celtic sea salt (for the flush) or Organic Sea Salt

Preparing the Lemonade:

Measure out the ingredients (minus the sea salt) and combine the ingredients in a pot of water. Measureing out 1 Liter at a time is much easier since finding a pot that holds 2 liters of water can be tough. Add the cayenne pepper only when you are ready to drink the mixture this way you don’t risk making the juice too spicy.

It is recommended to drink 6-12 glasses a day.

The Salt Water Flush:

32 oz  of lukewarm spring water

2 tsps of grey celtic sea salt or organic sea salt

Planning when to drink the Flush:

You must finish the whole mix in order for it to work. Planning when to take it is very important because once you have downed the solution, you will be on guard for a bowel movement. You can expect the knock at the door in 30-60 minutes, so planning your day around the flush is important. Doing the flush in the evening I think works best, this way the crappy process HAHA crappy…the process will not get in the way of your normal day-to-day routine.

Finishing the entire amount is necessary and a challenge. My suggestion? Pretend you’re a freshman in college doing a keg stand, nothing stopped you then right?!

If ‘pounding it’ is not your thing then drink at your own pace, just make sure you finish the entire mix.

Rumble in the Jungle:

Like I said, it generally takes about 30-60 minutes before your belly starts to rumble. You will have several bowel movements and don’t expect it to be a walk in the park. You are after all removing solid matter from the digestive track, and you have months and months of waste to expel. Reminder, it is unpleasant but you will love how light you feel afterwards.

The next morning you can start your cleanse and repeat this process for the next several days or however long you plan on doing the detoxifying your body.

After your last day you may be tempted to stuff your face silly but don’t. All that hard work will go down the drain. Instead ease your way out of the fast the same way you eased yourself in. It’s really important to do it this way otherwise you risk feeling nauseated, constipated or even worse. Again, if you are feeling unwell contact your physician.

Start by switching to orange juice the first day, veggie juice and soup the second day, fruits and vegetables the third day…and on the fourth day you can go back to your normal (hopefully healthy) diet again.

Pros: More energy, clear skin, better sleep, cleansing digestive system, and overall improvement of the immune system. Bonus: weight loss

Cons: Cravings, headaches, loss of muscle definition due to weight loss, requires a whole lot of willpower!